Yogi Berra quote collection

One of the mentors in my career was a gentleman by the name of Tim A. Tim was often stern, but never without a sense of humor. He made a very challenging job a lot of fun. Although my friend & co-worker Eric and I were (relatively) much younger than he, he seemed just as much a member of the gang as anyone. He was definitely a great help to me.

Tim's favorite ball team was the New York Yankees. I know because he would sometimes harass other co-workers by wearing Yankee jerseys to work.

I was saddened to learn a few years after I left that position that Tim had passed away from cancer. It was both sad and surprising. He was a very strong man. I miss him quite a bit.

Next to my desk at work, I have the following list of quotes from one of Tim's Yankees - the great Yogi Berra. These quotes are legendary, as is Yogi. What's amazing about all these quotes is the fact that we can all understand them, even though they make no sense at all. So in honor of two legends - Tim and Yogi - here are some of Yogi's most memorable quotes - so far.

"A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore."

"Baseball is ninety percent mental. The other half is physical."

"He hits from both sides of the plate. He's amphibious."

"I always thought that record would stand until it was broken."

"I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did."

"I never said most of the things I said."

"It gets late early out there."

"I think Little League is wonderful. It keeps the kids out of the house."

"It's like deja vu all over again."

"Nobody goes there anymore because it's too crowded."

"So I'm ugly. I never saw anyone hit with his face."

"Take it with a grin of salt."

"The game isn't over until it's over."

"The towels were so thick there, I could hardly close my suitcase."

"You can observe a lot just by watching."

"You should always go to other people's funerals, otherwise, they won't come to yours."

"You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going, because you might not get there."

"We made too many wrong mistakes."

"When you come to a fork in the road, take it."

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My relatives recently moved up from a dial-up Internet connection to a high-speed connection. I got to test drive it myself a few days ago. The YouTube videos that used to take hours to upload now upload within minutes and play almost immediately. NIIIIICE! I mention this because this morning, as I tried to hook up with my dial-up connection, I kept getting the error message that my username & password were invalid. It’s not just the speed issue that makes high-speed Internet so inviting. It’s the (relatively) hassle-free sign on. No more password blues.

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ON YOUTUBE: PETER PIPER “P” PRODUCTS. The fast-talking guy from old commercials made a few memorable appearances on “Sesame Street,” and this is one of the best. Also a great example of the writers doing everything they can to get a “P” word in the script! It’s in my favorites folder on my YouTube page. You can get there by clicking on the link in my “links” section at the right.

Spidey to sing, but beware the cat!

Here's the short review of “Spider-Man 3”: It's great, see it.

But if you prefer theater, there's some interesting news: They're planning a musical about Spider-Man! I guess we shouldn't be surprised. There is a “Superman” musical which can still be seen on campuses once in a while. (and it was once made into a TV special!) Spidey is another fine choice for the musical theater, although I fear it may be hard to hear someone singing underneath that mask!

And to give the music a little “edge,” the music for the Spidey musical could be written by the Edge and Bono from rock band U2! You can read about that at the links below, as well as get an idea of what the finished product might be. Here's a preview from the first post- click on it for more lyrics:

I have climbed tallest buildings

I have swung through the streets

Only to fight with you … only to fight with you …



I have run, I have crawled

I have scaled these city walls … these city walls …

Only to fight with you …


But I still haven't found

Uncle Ben's killer

But I still haven't found

Uncle Ben's killer

http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2007/04/look_out_here_comes_the_edge_a.html


http://www.playbill.com/news/article/87231.html


And speaking of Bono, it's time to repeat my favorite Bono joke. (It's clean, don't worry.) It's dedicated to my pals over at Amy and Greg's house:

It seems that this man died and went to Heaven. He was being led around Heaven by an angel, who was introducing him to many of the famous singing stars of yesteryear who have since passed on – Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, etc. Then, as they go along, the man thinks he sees Bono walking by. The man is surprised. He asks the angel, “Has Bono died, too?” The angel replies, “No, that's God. He likes to dress up like Bono once in a while.”

I need to tell this joke now, because after Bono passes away, it won't be funny anymore. :) Here's to you, oh frontman of U2.

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KITTEN ON THE KEYS: I like cats. Cats are cool animals. Very cute, relatively low-maintenance, reasonably quiet. But cats can cause problems, sometimes. One of my favorite memories of our cat “Moony” was the day she walked right across the side of our house - just after we put the wet cement in! We kept a few of the footprints in there as a reminder of that classic moment. “We’re going to have roast cat tonight!” my uncle said. (Note: We didn’t.)


Some of you are familiar with the book titled, “The Cat Ate My Gymsuit.” But this has got to be the king of all “the cat screwed everything up” stories. It seems that a cute little kitten named Otto climbed up on the piano one day - and destroyed the score to a future Andrew Lloyd Webber musical! Read about it here:



Andrew Lloyd Webber is working on the sequel to The Phantom Of The Opera, but theatre-lovers will have to wait a bit longer to see it, as Lloyd Webber’s kitten has proved the score’s most dramatic critic.

According to reports in The Daily Mail, Lloyd Webber, 59, was working on the score at his computerised grand piano when his six-month-old kitten Otto climbed inside it and deleted everything he had written so far.

The digital Clavinova piano has an inbuilt computer and the ability to play back thousands of songs from its memory. Somehow Otto pressed all the wrong buttons and Lloyd Webber was unable to recover his work from after the kitten had been removed.

Otto is a rare-breed Turkish Van, a breed also known as the swimming cats, which cost up to £400. Lloyd Webber had wanted to own one for some time, so was delighted when Otto joined the family in January.

Says the composer, “I was trying to write some new music; Otto got into the grand piano, jumped onto the computer and destroyed the entire score for the new Phantom in one fell swoop.”

“I’ve got to write another show soon or I’ll go mad. The most important thing is the plot, so I’ve been writing it with Freddie,” he said, referring to Fredrick Forsyth, author of the novel Day Of The Jackal, on which the new musical is partly based.

http://www.pethealthcare.co.uk/Kitten_Disrupts_Lloyd_Webber_Musical_511/AllComments/


Now it isn’t too hard to figure out the motives of this kitten. Some may say he’s just another harsh music critic. Au contraire! Some may say he’s a “Phantom Phan” upset at the idea of a new musical about the Phantom. Not at all! He is, in fact, jealous that Lloyd Webber chose to do a sequel to “Phantom” before he did a sequel to “Cats!”

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AND SPEAKING OF ‘SPOILING’ THE PHANTOM, a few weeks ago I gave in to the “thrift store shopping bug” again, and lo and behold what did I find but the audiotape version of Fredrick Forsyth’s “Phantom of Manhattan.” This is the novel that Lloyd Webber’s musical will be based upon. I can’t tell you much about it because I haven’t listened to it yet! This is an incredible test of will-power! But I’m going to hold off on it until later just because I can, and also because there are plenty of other things to do around here.

BUT - I did read the synopsis on the back cover. You may enjoy reading this yourself as a possible preview of what the musical will be like. So SPOILER ALERT! Do not read this if you want to be 100% surprised at the new play. But if you’re content with just being 90% surprised, here you go:

It is 1906. Erik, the creature with the hideous face but poetic heart, has escaped to America, to a life that begins in misery, but in time makes him incredibly wealthy and brutally powerful. But he never forgot the obsessional love of his life, Christine, the understudy who became a mega-star due to his coaching. Then a mysterious, life-changing letter arrives from Paris and he determines he must see her again. . .a decision that leads to a vortex of passion, love, sin, death, and redemption.

Passion, love, sin, death and redemption. Sounds like a hit to me! :) We’ll find out for sure later (much later, now that Andrew has to start from scratch! I’m hoping his “memory” is strong!). There are plenty of rumors about “Phantom 2” going around right now, involving the possible return of Sarah Brightman as Christine! Keep up with the latest on the Phantom at the link below. And keep the cat away from your computer.

http://www.phantomoftheopera.com/modules/news/

And for more about Sarah Brightman, here’s some info about her PBS special:

http://heroshaven.blogspot.com/2006/12/sarah-brightman-justine-blogging-from.html

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SOUNDS OF SUMMER: Do your baseball memories go back to those golden days of watching “The Baseball Bunch?” Well, mine don’t really, either, but I do remember the show. Featuring big-league players along with the famous chicken, the show has been gone & mostly forgotten for many years. But earlier this week, I got an e-mail from Eric at justmyshow.com. Thanks to the world of podcasting, you can listen to an interview with some of the kids on the show, as well as the chicken himself, “in the feathers!”

http://www.justmyshow.com/baseballbunch.html

If you enjoy this one, be sure to check out the other fine shows Eric has to offer, including a “Great Space Coaster” reunion show! And for more about the chicken, enjoy my posting in the January 2007 archives:

http://heroshaven.blogspot.com/2007/01/chicken-in-praise-of-poultry.html

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OPENING COMMENTS: You mean you didn’t go to the opening of the Creation Museum last month? Shame! Neither did I. But if you want to listen to the opening ceremony, you can do so at the site below. At the very end, there‘s a nice song by Buddy Davis called “He makes dreams out of nothing” :

http://blogs.answersingenesis.org/aroundtheworld/2007/05/26/creation-museum-officially-opens/

Take me out of this ball game

Did you know there was such a thing as a “14th inning stretch” in a baseball game? Neither did I. My friend and I found out the hard way last Sunday.

It was a true SoCal game, with the San Diego Padres taking on the Los Angeles Dodgers at Petco Park in San Diego. My friend and I sat on a high level overlooking left field. It was a nearly packed house, with about 44,000 people enjoying the game. And it went quickly through until finally, at the bottom of the ninth, the score was tied four to four. Yay! We're going into overtime! Then came the tenth inning. No score. Then the eleventh. No score. . .

The stadium began to empty out. As my friend said, “They have to leave!” The next day was Monday, a work day, and particularly if you had to make the 2-hour drive back up to L.A after the game, you really couldn't afford to stay for much overtime. The family next to us left behind their free kids' glove, so I got a souvenir.

On and on it went, until we hit – the fourteenth inning stretch. It's the same as the seventh inning stretch, basically. Everybody gets up to sing “Take me out to the ball game.” The only difference is that the line, “I don't care if I never get back” begins to lose its meaning. :) Yes, friends, this game was turning into a challenge – for the fans, that is. I began to root for ANYBODY to get a point.

My friend and I began to play a trivia game. Name all the movies that were named after famous songs that actually have the song included in them. (“Valley Girl” wouldn't count.) “Can't buy me love” is one. So is “Who'll stop the rain.” Yes, we were hurting.

They showed clips from several popular movies during the innings in an effort to keep everybody rallied up. We enjoyed clips from “Animal House,” “Wayne's World,” and most significantly, “Star Wars!” They showed clips from the end of the movie, when the rebels are attempting to blow up the Death Star. The twist was that they put the Dodgers logo over the Death Star. Cute. The Padre crowd roared its approval after the Death Star was destroyed!

The highlight of this endurance test came when a pigeon stepped out onto the edge of a long row of seats to my left. He looked down at the playing field far below, and I could tell that he was as despondent about the situation as I was. “Don't do it!” I yelled. “You have so much to live for!”

“Think of the new nachos!” my friend added.

“That's right!” I said. “And you don't even have to pay for them!”

But our pleas were to no avail. The pigeon stepped off the edge and began to head downward until it remembered that it could fly.

The game finally ended after 17 full innings and about five hours. In real life the “rebellion” didn't destroy the “Death Star.” The Dodgers won 5- 4. This event now holds the record for the longest game I've ever had the . . . okay, the pleasure of going to. As my friend said, we certainly got our money's worth. It was almost two games for the price of one.

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Baseball history in San Diego would be incomplete if we didn't talk about the chicken, right? Enjoy my post about the historic mascot here:

http://heroshaven.blogspot.com/2007/01/chicken-in-praise-of-poultry.html

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HISTORIC HOST: It was a little over a year ago, on May 2, 2006, that “George Washington” died. No, not the father of our country, but the father of “Wall Street Week” on PBS. Louis Rukeyser hosted the popular show for many years, and for us kids who didn't understand much of anything about Wall Street, Rukeyser was simply known as “George Washington.” Hey, the hairdo resemblance was striking! You can check out a picture of him at these sites, and also learn more about his legacy:

http://www.rukeyser.com/home/about_rukeyser.asp

http://www.nndb.com/people/440/000022374/

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ON OUR KNEES: Today (Thursday) is the national day of prayer. Most of us are guilty of only praying when we absolutely need to. But there are plenty of good opportunities each day for prayer. Here are some you probably haven't thought of:

TOP TEN NEW TIMES TO PRAY:

When “Elmo's World” comes on.

When the ball game you're watching goes longer than fourteen innings.

When you're driving home after the game.

When you invite all your friends to lunch and nobody shows up. :)

When you get bit by a dog in Downey, California. (Long story, folks)

When gas prices go up at the same time your drive to work gets longer.

As you're waiting for your YouTube videos to load with a dial-up connection.

When you realize that you haven't actually cleaned the bathroom in over a month.

When your parents ask for your help with some sort of computer issue.

And the number one. . .

When you have no idea what to blog about!

Seriously, I've got a lot to be thankful for, and an awful lot that I need to pray for. I'm glad there's someone wonderful who is listening. Thanks, Lord, for all you do.

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ON YOUTUBE: SPIDEY VS. THE WALL. I mentioned this one in an earlier post, so now you can watch it for yourself in all its glory. Your friendly, neighborhood Spider-Man enjoys a baseball game, but not for long. It's a terrific example of the humorous “Spidey” shorts that made “The Electric Company” such a fun show. Watch for Morgan Freeman as the umpire. Check it out in my favorites folder on my YouTube page in the links section. WARNING: YouTube has been very slow in updating my favorites. If you can't find Spidey in there, please try again later, or do a search in YouTube for "Spidey" and "wall." That is all.

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NEXT TIME: Aaaay, Richie, if you want a preview of a future blog posting, check out the review of "Happy Days, season 2" in the "Happy Days Online" web site. You can find it in the links, dig?

The Chicken: In praise of poultry

Longtime San Diego Padre Tony Gwynn is getting a spot in the Baseball Hall of Fame. He’s a great player who built a reputation for reliability. Speaking of reliable, let’s talk about somebody who, according to his web page, performed at more than 5000 games before missing one. (And somebody who at one point was on Tony Gwynn’s bad side, but more about that later) - ladies and gentlemen: THE CHICKEN!





Don’t laugh. Well, on second thought, go right ahead. Neither the chicken nor I would mind.

As a baseball fan in San Diego in the 1970s, you had to learn to put up with a lot of things that weren’t so great. The Padres were relatively new, and relatively inexperienced. There is a sadly true story about Padre team owner Ray Kroc getting on the loudspeaker after the game to complain about the terrible playing by the team. The team needed help, and help came from a rather unexpected source. No, not Ronald McDonald - a chicken. The costumed character from KGB radio began to make appearances at Jack Murphy (now Qualcomm) Stadium during major sports events.

Perhaps it’s hard for die-hard sports fans to understand why the Chicken is so important to the history of the Padres. Perhaps you had to be a kid as I was, enjoying the funny guy in the costume much more than I could understand the game. Perhaps you had to be there to hear the low roar of laughter that seemed to be almost constantly coming from the stands.

All he did was make the fans happy - which was just what the Padres needed at that time.

The Chicken was proof that it was okay to do silly things as an adult. When you think about it, there aren’t too many celebrities whose humor appeals directly to children. I’m thinking of the many stars “Saturday Night Live” has helped develop. All great, but not always funny for kids. The Chicken is pure slapstick fun in an era when the classic silent slapstick greats seem to have vanished.

At one point, the Chicken received a job offer from another individual who was offering more cash. Folks, this was on the news! All of San Diego held its breath for a few days, until finally the Chicken chose to stay with KGB and the Padres, and we all breathed a sigh of relief. He was really every bit as much a sports celebrity as Randy Jones & Rollie Fingers were at the time. He was certainly as well-known.

Sadly, it was not long after that when KGB and the chicken parted ways. Now my memory is sketchy on this, but I seem to recall a news clip on “Real People” about KGB hiring somebody else to play the chicken, and this new guy GETTING BOOED RIGHT OUT OF THE STADIUM! That’s how loyal San Diego was to the original chicken!

Not long after this was the “Grand Hatching.” The Chicken would return, this time on his own terms, and in a new costume. The stadium was sold out, and everyone who wasn’t there was watching it on TV. What on earth would he look like? My brother and I still remember seeing that giant egg being lifted off a truck and onto the field at the stadium. Suddenly, it bursts open, and out comes the Chicken we know today, and the crowd roars! If you didn’t love sports in San Diego, you might not understand what a big deal this was. But we did. And we still do.

A little later was kind of a historic night in my life - the birthday celebration of Ray Kroc. It was held at the stadium and - well folks, it was great. I don’t remember anything about the game. But man, what a show. Skydivers landing in the middle of the stadium! A giant birthday cake with the Chicken and Ronald McDonald inside! Confetti! Grimace! Hamburglar! A phone call from Ronald Reagan! A free cap! Kroc riding into the stadium in his white limo and the chicken bowing down to worship him! This cheesy fun really was a great night for a young kid.

As I grew up, so did sports in San Diego. The Padres were certainly becoming a force to reckon with, thanks to some great players like Tony Gwynn mentioned above. And who could ever forget 1984 - the year we won the pennant! It was a great moment in San Diego sports history. And as sports became more serious, people began to actually watch the game more than the mascot.

Sadly, for some, the chicken’s antics began to be more annoying than fun. This quote from Barry M. Bloom sums it up well:

The guy in the Famous Chicken outfit hatched his act here when the team on the field was just a supporting cast. There was the night in 1984 when he played Indiana Chicken and rode a horse across the field during a no-hit effort by the Cardinals' Ricky Horton. The horse came to a halt and decided to fertilize left field. Horton didn't get the no-hitter and the Chicken was banished, forced to buy tickets and perform in the stands.

09/22/2003 9:00 AM ET Good times at the QBy Barry M. Bloom / MLB.com

So many Padres began to turn against the Chicken, as did many sports fans. As longtime San Diego sports commentator Ted Leitner is fond of saying, “It’s only a game!” But when you dedicate your life to the game, as Tony Gwynn did, then perhaps you can understand why everyone got upset.

Perhaps the lowest blow of all was when the Chicken was actually kicked out of Jack Murphy stadium during the Super Bowl in San Diego! He didn’t go to work, he was just there as a fan to enjoy the game, but he was a fan in a chicken suit, and apparently the guys in the real suits didn’t approve of the attention he was getting, so they chucked the chicken. Perhaps understandable, but sad. We’d come a long way.

Thankfully, the Chicken and sports fans have pretty much made peace with each other. He has since taken his show on the road. He’s been making fans happy across the nation just as he used to do in San Diego. He still drops by to visit once in a while - this time as an honored guest - and is always welcomed back with cheers and laughter. The laughter continues, and hopefully will for a long time.

And as Jerry Coleman said, you can hang a star on that baby.

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Yay! The Chicken has a web page full of pictures (like the one above) and more cool things. Check it out!
http://www.famouschicken.com

Say, does ANYBODY out there have any episodes of “The Baseball Bunch” with Johnny Bench & the Chicken? The show was on the air in the early 1980s and ranks as a lost childhood classic show (along with “That’s Cat” and “The Froozles!”) If you’ve got them, please e-mail me at sesarognospam@yahoo.com for a video trade. But take the "nospam" out of my email address before you do.