To be continued? Not again. . .

One of my silly home movies features a coloring book with a story that basically ends right in the middle. The hero gets captured, then the coloring book ends. Pretty stupid, huh? It just doesn’t seem right to end a story at such a point. And yet this is nothing new. Back in the day, buying or reading comic books was somewhat of a problem for me, since we never subscribed to them, and we weren’t always going down the street to buy them. So if a comic book ended with a cliffhanger (as most of them did), I hardly ever got to find out exactly what happened next. It was not until years later when comic collecting became more intense that I finally began to find out what happened to those characters.


But sometimes, we never found out. Fans of the old “Jack and Jill” magazine may recall the character of “Perky Puppet.” Perky and friends went on an adventure one day and were never heard from again. Another character (Rufus Crustbuster, somebody else you‘ve probably never heard of) took over the storyline, and Perky sort of disappeared into the ether. Sad. And very lazy writing. You may never have heard of Perky Puppet, but now a similar thing has happened to a character you probably have heard of.


The comic strip “Annie” came to an end on Sunday, June 13, 2010. But worse than the fact that Annie is ending is the fact that Annie ended on a CLIFFHANGER! We aren’t going to find out (right away) how Annie gets out of her latest predicament! The last panel in the last strip says “And this is where we leave our Annie. For now-” Great. Just great. Exactly WHEN and HOW we find out what happens to Annie is a complete mystery which I don’t think even Annie’s creators know for sure. Folks, this is not only lazy writing, it’s bad policy. It makes the readers angry. If you only got half of your hamburger when you paid for a whole one, you’d be upset. (Yes, I know we didn’t have to pay much to read Annie, but work with me here).


I’m thinking of some other major shows that have come to an end without everything being completely resolved- namely "Lois and Clark", “Lost” and “The Sopranos.” Is this the latest trend? End with MOST of the questions answered, but not all of them? Or end with some answered and some unanswered? Or, like Annie and so many other comics, end with nothing at all answered? There’s another great comic strip about a one-eyed sailor that has run for many years now. If Annie can end, why not Popeye? With Popeye it will probably be less painful, as the strip (to my knowledge) doesn’t use a storyline as much as it used to. So it likely won’t “end in the middle of the story,” because there isn’t a story.


But meanwhile, we still await word on both Perky Puppet and Annie. Maybe it’s because I’m a bit of a creative guy myself that I don’t like the characters (or the audience) being treated this way. But Kermit’s advice of “write your own ending” is sometimes very wise. And it could be that if you really want to know how Annie gets out of her latest predicament, you’ll have to discover it for yourself. Good luck, and let me know how it all turns out.

　
TV OR NOT TV: I’m in the middle of a grand experiment here at my place. It’s something I’ve thought about doing for a while now, and now I actually am doing it. For the past 2 months or so, I’ve dropped my cable company, and I haven’t been watching live TV. This actually isn’t the first time I’ve done it, but this is the first time I’ve done it where I wasn’t able/willing to have somebody else tape something for me. :) The good news is that I really don’t miss it that much. I’m not against TV at all, but it was getting foolish to spend money on something that was hardly ever used. As vital as we sometimes think it is, TV is a luxury. We sadly haven’t been using it as a luxury, but as a necessity. It’s time we changed that. We don’t have to watch something just because someone else says we should.

You’ve probably heard of Bruce Springsteen’s “57 channels and nothing on.” Actually, aside from the loads of junk, there’s a lot of fine stuff on TV. But for me, there’s not a lot on TV that makes me want to watch it- and a lot less that makes me want to pay the bills to watch it. I’ve actually “done the math” on this. If you’re paying $60 or more per month for television, and there are only three things on per month that you want to see, that’s like paying $20 to watch something on TV! Indeed, why not just buy the DVD if you can? It honestly is a good question to ask yourself as you’re lounging around complaining about the stupid show you’re watching. . .and then not changing the channel. You just sit there complaining about what’s going on. But you don’t do anything about it, even though you have the power to change things. You remind me of several people I know. Get up. Turn off tube. Do something better. Heck, you might even want to give up surfing the Internet if you really want to.
Wait, where are you going?

　
NO MORE HOT PANTS? A lot of comic book fans are feeling pretty patriotic these days. They're upset that Wonder Woman is losing her star-spangled blue shorts! I'm only a bit upset, as it has been pointed out that at least you can still see the outline of her legs. I suppose we haven't lost too much. Although I should point out that both WW and Captain America have seen some changes recently- and that both characters traditionally wear patriotic clothing. Are comic book writers turning against patriotism? Is this a plot to reduce the value of the red, white & blue? Well, actually, Wonder Woman changed her outfit for the same reason that Captain America died, and Superman died. To sell comics. I think we'll be seeing the hot pants again. Superman died, and we saw him again. Captain America will be starring in a movie, even though he died. Spider-Man changed his costume. Then he went back to the old one. Pardon my cynicism, but when you've seen it all before. . .It's just like Lady Gaga. I look at her and see Madonna. Some people look at Madonna and see Peggy Lee. Some people look at Peggy Lee and see whoever played the “provocative blonde solo singer” role before she did. I'm not sure who that was. I'm not quite that old. Close, though.


AT LAST WE KNOW: Oh, you lucky reader. I know you thought you were just wasting your time reading my blog, but I am going to reward you handsomely for your efforts. I am going to tell you THE MEANING OF LIFE! It isn't going to be as deep and profound as you'd hope, but it's going to be quite meaningful. I figured it out last week as I went to attend a meeting that I thought was taking place at a local library. I went to the library, but there was no meeting. Kind of reminded me of another event (check out the January 2006 archives for that one). So I decided to use my free time to do some shopping. Went to a store I wanted to go to for a while. It was closed. Went to another store nearby. It was closed. Went to Goodwill to shop and drop off a donation. They were closed - but the lady who was there was glad to take my donation. At this point I was getting mad. Why is nothing going right today? I thought about another nearby store, and immediately thought to myself, “Why bother? They're closed.” Which they were!


Now I realize that this seems like a petty thing to complain about in the big scheme of things. So what if I went out shopping and the stores were closed? Well, it's easy to say that now, because it's over. But it wasn't fun at the time. In the midst of my anger, I decided to stop in at Rite Aid and have a chocolate chip ice cream cone. It was good. Yum. I was reasonably happy again. As I walked along the parking lot eating the ice cream, the secret of life occurred to me. No, it's not ice cream. Life is making the best out of a bad situation. Think about all the people you know or have ever heard of. No matter how much they were blessed or cursed, no matter what they had to go through, they had to make the best they could out of a bad situation - life. Life has always been a challenge. It always will be. We meet the challenge every day and - even to a very small degree - we overcome the challenge. We don't overcome everything, but I think we should be proud of what we do overcome. Life gives us lemons, and we make lemonade. But we MAKE the lemonade. It doesn't appear naturally. The good that we find in this life comes only if we look for it. Most of us are only looking at the lemons and saying, “This sucks,” and going home. It never occurs to us that we have to do something. In a day filled with bad things, I did one thing to make me happy. I overcame. I made it a good day. I'll try to keep doing that, and hopefully next time I won't even need the ice cream.

　

Valentine for Wonder Woman

Yes, I’m a blogger. Just because I haven’t done it for a month or two, people give up on me. Sad. But at least let me explain what Wonder Woman is doing here.

If you check out the Cinema Cervello blog on a semi regular basis (and please do if you enjoy fun film reviews, along with links to other cool sites), you’ve noticed the “character assassination” game going on. Basically, the idea is to list several popular fictional characters and eliminate the “lesser” ones until “there can be only one.” Readers are invited to cast votes for the character they like the best. So far in the competition, Benjamin Linus from “Lost” has won, managing to win out over the king from “Lord of the Rings,” Han Solo, Commander Adama from “Battlestar Galactica,” Willow from “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,“ and Treebeard. (That Treebeard loss really gets to me, man.)

What would happen if we were to do such a thing on this blog? I can see the competition now: Underdog vs. Carolyne Heldman vs. Mister Rogers vs. Meredith Vieira vs. George the Lobster. (Thankfully for both of us, there won’t be such a competition. To paraphrase one of the Wayans brothers, “This is a dictatorship, and I’m Dick.”) But I couldn’t help but thinking, who WOULD be the person/creature best suited to lead all the ragtag fictional characters I love? As I see it, the goal is not necessarily to vote for your favorite person, but for the one you feel would be best able to lead. The one with the most well-rounded set of skills and personality. That’s a lot to ask for when you consider the myriad of different characters to choose from. Not an easy task. Everyone has strengths in many different areas. Nobody’s perfect, even in the “fantasy world.” That may be because in the largest sense, perfection itself is a fantasy. Hang on, I’m getting profound. I need to get back to the pointless point.

My first choice was Superman, knowing that he had the physical, emotional and intellectual strength to conquer just about anybody. (The Hulk may theoretically be stronger, but would you trust him to rule?) But as I thought about the Cinema Cervello competition, and specifically how Willow initially won out over Commander Adama, I had to admit that looks count for something. I had to admit that there was someone who I would rather watch in action than Superman. Someone also physically strong, smart and emotionally strong. And gorgeous. Yep, WW. Not as strong as Superman, but if you’re looking for a well-rounded heroine who is physically strong enough to whip just about any bad guy, it’s hard to top her.

Picture this. You’re a German general in World War 2. You are fighting the enemy on the battlefield. You have plenty of ammunition and grenades at your disposal. An American soldier charges at you. You raise your rifle. BANG! He’s dead. A group of soldiers come at you. Again, your rifle comes to your aid. BANG BANG BANG! Down they fall. Suddenly, you see a tank headed your way. You throw a grenade at it. BOOM! It’s enough to disorient it at least. You keep fighting. Then a half-naked woman wrapped in an American flag runs toward you. “What the. . ?” You drop your rifle and grenade. Even if you’re not overcome with lust, you’re wondering how this is possible. You just don’t expect to see something like this. Not on the battlefield, or anywhere else. You’re stunned just as much as if you had been hit in the face. And before too long, you literally ARE hit in the face by the beautiful woman that you were too shocked by to attack. You fall to the ground, defeated by a weapon that was the last thing in the world you were expecting. If you had never heard of Wonder Woman before, you could not possibly have been prepared for this.

For a time, in the comic books, Wonder Woman was taken out of her traditional costume and put into - well, basically regular clothes. They were nice enough clothes, but it was clearly a bad move! They were trying to make it a more realistic situation, but in this case it didn’t really work and the traditional costume finally won out. I mention this to demonstrate how important the costume is. Without it, you don’t really have the heroine. You know WW immediately by her costume. That German soldier probably wouldn’t have been too impressed by WW had she attacked him while wearing regular army fatigues.

As usual, so much more to write and so little time. Let’s just say that WW is a heroine for everyone, man or woman. And guys, if you’re only interested in her beauty, you’re not looking at her hard enough.

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THE SEARCH FOR ‘THE SEARCH FOR SOLUTIONS’: For me, music collecting is not limited to record collecting, or CD collecting, or mp3 collecting. It includes music that in some cases has never been released commercially. That’s part of the challenge and the fun, of course. Here’s a good example of how something like that can eventually be found.

Back in my grade school days, there was a film series (dang, remember when schools used movie projectors to show movies?) called “The Search for Solutions.” I’m sure we didn’t see the complete series, but we saw some of it, and it included a short music piece that has stuck with me to this day. I filed it away under “you’ll never find that one” for many years. When the Internet came along, I was pleased to find that it at least knew what “Search for Solutions” was. That’s a big plus. Often, the Internet will be pretty much clueless as to a particular short movie that you saw in school. While the series was still in school circulation, I don’t own a projector, and I probably wouldn’t be able to rent them anyway. I can hear the librarian now. “You’re not a teacher, or a student, but you want to rent this film? How do I know you’re not a movie destroyer intent on cutting up this precious masterpiece?”

But in my spare time one day (and incidentally, that’s something that the die-hard music collector is going to need), I did a “Search for Solutions” search again and found out that the music had actually been composed by Lyle Mays and. . .Pat Metheny! It was neat to realize that someone I had heard of composed the music. On Pat’s site, it not only includes a video clip from the series featuring a cute balloonist (there’s something about me and brunettes, I know), but at the end of the clip, we get to hear the music that I heard way back in school. It has taken nearly 30 years for me to hear this music again. That’s how much spare time you’re going to need. And that’s why music collecting - or any hobby - must only be a hobby, and not your whole life. Enjoy the clip.

http://www.patmetheny.com/media.cfm?categoryid=4

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CONAN’S LAST REQUEST: I’m not much of a fan of late night TV. But when I had the chance to catch the last few minutes of Conan O’Brien’s final “Tonight Show”, I had to tune in. I’m not much of a fan of Conan either, but I really like what he said before signing off:

"To all the people watching, I can never thank you enough for your kindness to me and I'll think about it for the rest of my life. All I ask of you is one thing: Please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism - it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."

For the past few weeks, NBC has reminded us of the fact that it (and life) is not fair. It has put the quest for ratings on a higher level than a man’s career. Nothing new there, of course - TV is notorious for dropping shows and people that don’t make the “cut.” Which is probably why so many people have grown cynical about it. What’s the use of doing your very best on a TV show only to have it yanked off the air whenever someone decides they don’t like you? A lot of talented people probably look at the entertainment industry and realize it isn’t for them - because their talents will not be truly appreciated by the people who pay them. Who knows what kind of talent we’re missing out on?

But as he exited the show, Conan asked us not to be cynical. That means a lot. Conan is smart. He realizes that he has been very blessed and chooses to focus on that rather than on his exiting the show. That’s the way it ought to be for all of us when something good has to end. And perhaps most important point of all: When Conan encouraged us to not be cynical and to be kind, it was an indirect way of saying, “Don’t be like NBC,” which is an indirect way of saying, “Don’t be like the world.”

I can’t help but like that.

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ON YOUTUBE: MORE RARE CAROLYNE
A few more seconds of Carolyne Heldman from late 1980s MTV has made it to YouTube. This will have to suffice until the long-awaited “Best of Carolyne” DVD is available sometime in my wildest dreams. Enjoy the clip from MTV of old on my YouTube page in my favorites folder.